I only work in black.... sometimes very dark grey.

Well, we’ve all seen the trailers now. Watching the current WB/DC “We must catch up with Marvel” cinematic universe gradually be revealed is like watching a car crash in slow motion.
Obviously we need to actually watch Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad before final judgement can be passed, but the trailers make one thing fairly clear: the casting is terrible and the world being presented is just…..ugly. Not deliberately so, in the way that many depictions of Gotham’s backstreets has been rendered by people with an actual flare for imagery; I mean it’s uuuuugly. Urban decay has a macabre charm. What we’re seeing here is just a charisma-free mess…..of which the walking, talking embodiment is that new “Joker”.
When it was first announced that Jared Leto was playing the role, I looked the guy up. He struck me as your run-of-the-mill, bland, Hollywood pretty-boy. The kind of blank canvas you actually need to paint a character as big as The Joker. Unfortunately, the artist obviously doesn’t know what The Joker looks like, because they’ve given us Keith f**king Flint.



The latest Bats v Supes trailer also shows us Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor for the first time.
A lot of people were saying “wait and see” and pointing toward the “Attention” monologue from The Social Network. Well, I waited and now I’ve seen it, and if that “The Red Capes are coming!” line in the trailer is the example they chose to try and get us hyped, god knows how devoid of personality the lesser parts of his performance will be.
I posted a picture of Lex Luthor from the comics when Eisenberg’s casting was first announced, and I’m going to post it here again. Take a good look:



Now I shall pose one question: Why the f**k wasn’t Ben Affleck cast as Lex Luthor?
His performance in Runner Runner was PURE Luthor: a charming villain who lures everyone over to his side so that he can manipulate them into doing what he needs them to.
We could have had that…..but we’re getting Eisenberg: An actor only really suited to providing the default voice on a SatNav.

My ideal casting for the WB/DC universe, as we thus far know it, would have been:

Henry Cavill as Superman (I guess it kinda worked in Man of Steel. I can’t think of any better options. Weirdly, he looks more like Superman in The Man From UNCLE than he does in either of the DC movies!)

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Batman (I’ve said it before. He’d have made a great, grizzled Batman)

Ben Affleck as Lex Luthor (As said above)

Gina Carano as Wonder Woman (This was a no-brainer. She looks the part! Instead they ran with that twig-with-lips, Gal Gadot)

And

Michael Emerson as The Joker (He actually voiced The Joker in The Dark Knight Returns, and a more mature Joker would go well with a veteran Batman. Just give him a prosthetic nose and a purple suit)