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Submitted on
March 19, 2012


11,253 (1 today)
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I've just learned that filmmaker Michael Bay (aka - Uwe-Boll-With-A-Budget) has turned his withering gaze upon the Heroes in a Half-Shell, and has set about mutilating the franchise by informing us that their origin will change in his upcoming (oh god; if I have to refer to another film as this I may start weeping blood) reboot.

Y'know in the Disney animation Bolt where the idiot pigeons give a one-word pitch at how to "improve" the series that the titular doggie has absconded from? It's a dig at crappy writers that have no idea how to come up with an original idea and so just shoehorn in absurd new story elements to an existing tale.
Well; that's basically what Mr Bay has said:


Nope. They're not mutants anymore. They're aliens.

After Transformers: This should be buried on the dark side of the Moon (or whatever it was called), I vowed never to piss away my money or, more importantly; my time, watching any future film Bay is connected with.
This news kinda reinforces my resolve!

Why the hell aren't they making a follow up to the ace 2007 TMNT film? It was brilliant and fit perfectly into the canon, essentially picking up from where the earlier live-action films had left off but telling its story so well that it wasn't actually required that you had seen them.
It built upon the mythology, adding to it.

Bay, on the other hand, is just squatting over it, preparing to give it a good pebble-dash.
  • Listening to: Booming Orchestral Scores
  • Reading: Weird tales of H.P.Lovecraft
  • Watching: Tintin
  • Playing: Minecraft
  • Eating: Chorizo & Chicken
  • Drinking: Water
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zigzag563 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey, did you see that leaked concept art for the film?
I'm pretty sure ninjas aren't supposed to be wearing heavy battle armor and using axes and maces.
AdemusHaruhara Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
hold on though it might just work, i doubt that they will actually just be full on green men from space, it might mean the origin of the ooze that created them...
KlokwerkSolja Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
half-dragon Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012
I found out about that today. I felt my childhood die for the first time in my life. Nothing on the internet has been able to do that! NOTHING! Now I want to cry in a dark corner and remember the good old days. :tears:
Streaked-Silver Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
look at it this way, once you knew Bay had it.. it was gonna be bad, you knew it was dead and gone, now im just wondering how far he'll fuck this up. I'ts like when i thought they where gonna make a Captain PLanet live action movie.. i have to see this, just to see the epic level of fail.
bula-2 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist
I hate Bay. It’s official. I was so excited for a new ninja turtles movie, but now I’m not sure I can bare to watch it. He has pissed all over peoples loved memories and now he’s going to take a giant dump on the turtles. The man needs his knees broken.
Kasdren Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Yes indeed! Knees must be broken!

Then he will tell others:
"I use to be a director like you... Until I took a hammer to the knee..."
bula-2 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist
"...learn from me, don't fuck with peoples shit."
Kasdren Featured By Owner May 8, 2012  Student General Artist
Haha! Yes!

(I am soooo late on response, LOL):)
half-dragon Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012
You sir win. Even if its a really old and dead joke.
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