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I've just learned that filmmaker Michael Bay (aka - Uwe-Boll-With-A-Budget) has turned his withering gaze upon the Heroes in a Half-Shell, and has set about mutilating the franchise by informing us that their origin will change in his upcoming (oh god; if I have to refer to another film as this I may start weeping blood) reboot.

Y'know in the Disney animation Bolt where the idiot pigeons give a one-word pitch at how to "improve" the series that the titular doggie has absconded from? It's a dig at crappy writers that have no idea how to come up with an original idea and so just shoehorn in absurd new story elements to an existing tale.
Well; that's basically what Mr Bay has said:

"Aliens".

Nope. They're not mutants anymore. They're aliens.

After Transformers: This should be buried on the dark side of the Moon (or whatever it was called), I vowed never to piss away my money or, more importantly; my time, watching any future film Bay is connected with.
This news kinda reinforces my resolve!

Why the hell aren't they making a follow up to the ace 2007 TMNT film? It was brilliant and fit perfectly into the canon, essentially picking up from where the earlier live-action films had left off but telling its story so well that it wasn't actually required that you had seen them.
It built upon the mythology, adding to it.

Bay, on the other hand, is just squatting over it, preparing to give it a good pebble-dash.
  • Listening to: Booming Orchestral Scores
  • Reading: Weird tales of H.P.Lovecraft
  • Watching: Tintin
  • Playing: Minecraft
  • Eating: Chorizo & Chicken
  • Drinking: Water
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:iconzigzag563:
zigzag563 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey, did you see that leaked concept art for the film?
I'm pretty sure ninjas aren't supposed to be wearing heavy battle armor and using axes and maces.
:iconwthewwplz:
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:iconademusharuhara:
AdemusHaruhara Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
hold on though it might just work, i doubt that they will actually just be full on green men from space, it might mean the origin of the ooze that created them...
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:iconklokwerksolja:
KlokwerkSolja Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
True.
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:iconhalf-dragon:
half-dragon Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012
I found out about that today. I felt my childhood die for the first time in my life. Nothing on the internet has been able to do that! NOTHING! Now I want to cry in a dark corner and remember the good old days. :tears:
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:iconstreaked-silver:
Streaked-Silver Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
look at it this way, once you knew Bay had it.. it was gonna be bad, you knew it was dead and gone, now im just wondering how far he'll fuck this up. I'ts like when i thought they where gonna make a Captain PLanet live action movie.. i have to see this, just to see the epic level of fail.
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:iconbula-2:
bula-2 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist
I hate Bay. It’s official. I was so excited for a new ninja turtles movie, but now I’m not sure I can bare to watch it. He has pissed all over peoples loved memories and now he’s going to take a giant dump on the turtles. The man needs his knees broken.
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:iconkasdren:
Kasdren Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Yes indeed! Knees must be broken!

Then he will tell others:
"I use to be a director like you... Until I took a hammer to the knee..."
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:iconbula-2:
bula-2 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist
"...learn from me, don't fuck with peoples shit."
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:iconkasdren:
Kasdren Featured By Owner May 8, 2012  Student General Artist
Haha! Yes!

(I am soooo late on response, LOL):)
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:iconhalf-dragon:
half-dragon Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012
You sir win. Even if its a really old and dead joke.
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:iconkasdren:
Kasdren Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconisayplz:
Indeed it is one over beaten horse.... but a fun one to use... :)
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:iconhalf-dragon:
half-dragon Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
Yes, yes it is!
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:iconkasdren:
Kasdren Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Shall beat that horse to a pulp! Or is resurrected and beats me! Haha! :)
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:iconhalf-dragon:
half-dragon Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
An every other person who miss uses it.
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:iconkasdren:
Kasdren Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Ya... Lol :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconshawnleroy:
ShawnLeroy Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
He'll spruce it up with some snappy special effects and people will eat it up...
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:iconchaoscrow:
ChaosCrow Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2012   General Artist
I remember when 1st came out, I worked at a mall. I could not believe the lines when they did a TMNT promo with a couple of em showing up (cheap-ish 'mascot' type suits but it didn't stop the kids). The line was double and halfway down the mall. When the decent cg TMNT came out, theatre was near empty. This one will pack kids in cause they like Transformers. Bay is a name brand now. I'll be giving this one a pass. The guy can't keep a camera still, or do a locked off shot to save his soul. This is certainly a case of' I'll save a couple hours of my life and money and skip." I give some things a shot, but life is too short.

Uwe Boll with a budget, now THAT is classic!
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:iconlightninging63:
Lightninging63 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012   Traditional Artist
You know, when I first heard about this, I was mad. But now that I think about it, and what Bay could bring to the TMNT franchise, all I have to say is
GOD DAMMIT
:iconwtfboomplz:

They are not fucking aliens. They're teenagers. Who are mutants. Trained to be ninjas. Who are also turtles.

NOT FANFOFS (FUCKING ALIEN NINJAS FROM OUTER FUCKING SPACE).

Include a few dozen explosions, chase scenes, a decent animation of that rat guy, and a shitload of pizza, and I might be willing to forgive. A little.
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:iconlupinebrother:
Lupinebrother Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Yeah, that's one reason I want to make movies, just so there can be something other than a reboot out there. And I'm sick of Micheal Bay.
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:iconensignpulverize:
ensignpulverize Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
I feel whatever meal I last ate rise into the back of my throat
and bring me to the edge of vomiting whenever i hear the words "re-boot" and "re-imagine" uttered in regard to any old TV series or movie that Hollywood is preparing to rape the concept of and then foist the bastard child of that union off onto the public regardless of whether or not I liked the original. <deep shudder>
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:iconjohnathan-katz:
johnathan-katz Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If enough fans complain, much like the whole EA/BioWare affair, maybe it'll be stopped at just plans and not be made into a full fledged movie.

Even if it is the box office earnings will definitely be abysmal, I smell another Howard the Duck.
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:iconmarcony:
marcony Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
So he gets up in the morning and goes "I've got a great idea for a story but can't think of any good characters for it, lets nick some and crush them in to it. I know they don't fit but if you really squish them..."

That's the charitable version. The alternative is that the film company has the franchise and decides to use it so hands it to whoever is available even if it's not somebody who totally loves the original source and will respect it. but instead somebody who doesn't really give a crap about the heritage or for that matter anything that he himself did not create so has no qualms in mangling essential elements to fit the first plot he thinks of.

You decide.
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:iconchaoman:
chaoman Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Professional General Artist
It's DBZ all over again. This actually sounds quite hilarious.
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:iconfuzzyspider:
FuzzySpider Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Professional Filmographer
ive said it once and i shall say it again... i think this movie is going to suk big time, mr bay u suk..! great post and i think he should read these posts and make a new original film and leave our childhoods well alone..
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:icongrimfandango23:
GrimFandango23 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
"Michael Bay aka - Uwe-Boll-With-A-Budget"
you are brilliant ;-)
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:iconlexingtondeville:
LexingtonDeville Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.... :(
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:iconstripe-tigerhawk:
Stripe-Tigerhawk Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
I guess Hollywood doesn't give a crap what he does to the story as long as he brings in the bucks... Ugh... That and backing from Spielberg probably allows him free rein to change over any story he wants.
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:iconpucedoose:
pucedoose Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
Oh, good grief and a big fat AMEN to this whole journal entry!
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:iconlayzeeboi:
LayzeeBoi Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Looks like someone goes on reddit. But the honest title should be Teenage Warrior Ninja Turtles.
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:icondeviousdante:
deviousdante Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
Michael Bay and M. Night Shyamalalalalalaln. The two directors whose movies infuriate me enough where I would actually kill them given half a chance.
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:iconmackenziex:
MacKenzieX Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
... BUT THEY DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! and the second. and the third. And the CGI animated movie was pretty kick-ass, too. Not to mention the various Saturday Cartoon incarnations and the comic books.

Bay needs to be banned from touching any more kids shows. He's like ... a fandom pedophile or something the way he keeps molesting the cartoons of my childhood. What is he going to do next? Rose Petal Place: Revenge of the Spiders?
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:iconthtguywhodraws:
thtGUYwhoDRAWS Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
finding out he wanted to change them to aliens was the saddest day of my life
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:iconscrewball412:
ScrewBall412 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My childhood is sitting in the corner, crying. Can you hear it? Can you hear it sobbing?
Mr. Bay, I hope you're proud of yourself.
:iconangryplz:
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:iconfpgilmore:
fpgilmore Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
I've never paid to see any travesty this poseur has attempted to direct.

He claims in an article published today to be working on the script with one of the two original creators. Link to follow.

Wonder how much was in the armored car they parked in front of his house to get him to sell his creative soul once again?

[link]
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:icongidala:
Gidala Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh, stop with the Bay-hate...though, I think the idea itself is really, really bad.
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:iconsamblob:
SamBlob Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
I wonder when Michael Bey is going to make a James Bond movie?
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:iconevelwillow:
EveLWillow Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
A Bond flick at its worst requires more creative brain power then this mook can come up with on his own. I swear I think the moron simply buys the idea's from others and does his best to see how many explosions he can fit in.

I swear give him Mary Poppins and you'll get a this years newest Penthouse model on drugs armed with a mini-gun defending the Olsen twins from alien invaiders from hell.

" Just my opinion ... "
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:iconsamblob:
SamBlob Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
It's good to know that the James Bond franchise can get worse than it already has.
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:iconevelwillow:
EveLWillow Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dear~Sweet SamBlob, don't you know .... ?

It can always get worse, Its the getting better that's hard.( Unless your talking porn and that's a whole different story. )
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:iconroobertoober:
roobertoober Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, I needed some alone time after I read an article on this. I just...I don't know if I can trust the world anymore...
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:icondao128:
Dao128 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
WTF!?
Please tell me you're joking...this is a joke right? Hahaha
...
I may need to add Mr. Bay's name on the list of "people I should kick in the groing...with SPIKY BOOTS!!!"
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:iconthehappyemo:
thEhappYemO Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's like he WANTS people to send him and his family death threats.
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:iconkingofsouls:
Kingofsouls Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
that's IT! The franchise has finally been RUINED FOREVER!
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:iconinpautoworks:
INPAutoworks Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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:iconvapor9:
vapor9 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
The good news: We can NOT go to theaters. We can abstain from giving the man money. We can let metacritic and rotten tomatoes have at 'em and we can just sit back and let the movie flop. We vote with our pocketbooks people. Let's put Bay outta business.
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:iconlord-phillock:
lord-phillock Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012   Artist
that's what everyone else SHOULD be doing. I know I will.
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:iconvapor9:
vapor9 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2012
Yup, same.
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:iconparrybrown:
Parrybrown Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
perfect!
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:iconshadoboxxer:
SHADOBOXXER Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
While some of this may suck for us old enough to remember the older shows..... this could also be aimed at pulling in younger fans as well. Plus hell, every writer and director tries to put their own spin on something to make it theirs. It sucks but it's true.

Another thing is, do any of you guys have kids or know any kids who are fans of this stuff? My nephews love the turtles and they are only 11 years old. They also love the movie transformers. Those are the fans that will keep everything going for years to come. I mean look. Everybody thought they would hate Beast Wars... but what happened was, it brought new fans to the table and was an entry point for them.

A lot of people won't admit to it, but transformers died off hard in the 90's because Hasbro didn't bring in any of the animations that were done in Japan for the Transformers either. They wanted their own thing. They took the risk at reinventing them.

I say give it a shot, if it sucks it can be cut out at the end and re shot. I remember all the Nerd and Fan rage from the Transformers Animated show. Hell it ended up being a fun show for the kids.

Also remember this, the Cartoon of the Turtles was aimed at us when we were kids. It was cool to us, but the old heads during that time were saying "WTH is this stuff, it makes no sense" That's what is happening with some of the old fans here. Hell I remember watching the first live action turtles movie and i was mad about the news station not being Channel 6... but that's just how some things work out.

The ones who will really decide the fate of the movie won't be the old fans, but the potential legions on younger fans.
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:iconsolustm:
SolusTM Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
Oh. Dear. Bay's Transformers was just, JUST tolerable in the same way that the live Street Fighter film is tolerable if you are drunk. And medicated. But THIS? Why? If the multitude of series generated isn't enough to convince directors that a 'reboot' is not needed, then what will?

Common sense is not only dead, but every film maker, politician and prat seems hell bent on screwing it's cold corpse!
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