World War 3 may just be months away, with much of the middle east currently being blown apart by missiles and the locals setting their neighbours on fire, but the real news is that the Twinkie, the USA's primary contribution to world cuisine, could cease to be.
"You eat those?" I hear people ask. Hell no. Never eaten one in my life. There's something about their unnatural, chemical-yellow colour and that they have a half-life rather than a use-by date that just sets off one too many alarm-bells.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you read the print on the pack, you'll find asbestos to be a key ingredient.
Even John McClane can't keep one down, and he took out a building full of terrorists with nothing but his bare feet and a Santa hat.
Which leads to my point: Without the Twinkie, there are SO many lines from SO many classic movies that future generations just aren't going to get.
Die Hard, Flight of the Navigator, Zombieland, The Iron Giant, Wall-E, and, most importantly; Ghostbusters.
What unit are we going to use to measure PKE if there are no Twinkies?!
Cats and dogs, man!