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www.usatoday.com/story/money/b…

World War 3 may just be months away, with much of the middle east currently being blown apart by missiles and the locals setting their neighbours on fire, but the real news is that the Twinkie, the USA's primary contribution to world cuisine, could cease to be.

"You eat those?" I hear people ask. Hell no. Never eaten one in my life. There's something about their unnatural, chemical-yellow colour and that they have a half-life rather than a use-by date that just sets off one too many alarm-bells.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you read the print on the pack, you'll find asbestos to be a key ingredient.
Even John McClane can't keep one down, and he took out a building full of terrorists with nothing but his bare feet and a Santa hat.

Which leads to my point: Without the Twinkie, there are SO many lines from SO many classic movies that future generations just aren't going to get.
Die Hard, Flight of the Navigator, Zombieland, The Iron Giant, Wall-E, and, most importantly; Ghostbusters.
What unit are we going to use to measure PKE if there are no Twinkies?!
Cats and dogs, man!
MASS HYSTERIA!!
  • Listening to: Booming Orchestral Scores
  • Reading: Assorted comics.
  • Watching: TV
  • Playing: Dishonoured
  • Eating: Pasta
  • Drinking: Water.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconspace0ctopus:
Space0ctopus Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so much more upset about the fact I'll never see gingerbread spice donettes ever again, when they were easily the most delicious pastry, and in the top 5 most delicious foods in general, in the world. I had to wait until December every year for them, too.  Twinkies...could take 'em or leave 'em. Ho-ho's? Gonna miss  those delicious bastards, too. Their donettes were so perfect & soft & moist & delicious, unfortunately for which there's no real substitute, because even while entmanns mini-donuts are acceptable, they're no acceptable replacement at all.  :(

However, you're totally right, it's definitely sad that there will be so many future generations that will never know what a twinkie is. It's always been the hallmark of junk foodness & stuff....
Reply
:iconsannyf:
SannyF Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
remeber the twinkie scene in ghostbusters, i never ever understod what they were on about, mainly for we dont have it here.
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
The funny part is it's been the better part of a decade since I ate a Twinkie... suddenly I wanted one of those freakish little things... then I found out they were no more...
Reply
:iconstylemaster:
StyleMaster Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
What about the Simpsons episode where Apu says: "Silly Costumer! You cannot hurt the Twinkie!", ?

But I guess health regulations are the only thing that can stop them.
Reply
:icondestroyah5000:
Destroyah5000 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
One time I bought a package of Hostess cupcakes (assuming they were the usual chocolate ones that are okay). They looked liked the chocolate kind to me. Took a bite; it was that dreaded yellow dough, now in my stomach for the first time for the last time. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!
Reply
:iconlonewulfinottawa2009:
Twinkies are good
Reply
:icondarkdragondave:
DarkDragonDave Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Super late on this but:

[link]

I've eaten one of those. It was dreadful. (Even dipped it in milk too.)
Reply
:iconweird-coma:
weird-coma Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I call bullshit on the whole Hostess debacle. There's too many redneck assholes who fill-compact themselves with ding-dongs for them to just go out of business. There's already rumblings from them that they might not call it quits after all. Too bad, I was hoping to see some hill-jack's nugget exploded when he had to eat something that didn't have a shelf-life measured in decades.
Reply
:iconweird-coma:
weird-coma Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Lil' Debbie?
Reply
:iconlarchus:
Larchus Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
The Nutrition Facts of a Twinkie is just a transcript of a doctor laughing.
Reply
:iconsteelios:
Steelios Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
well let me tell you something their are 2 things that can survive this nuclear Apocalypse and guess what TWINKIES IS ONE OF THEM!so it's either a spongy yellow cake with marshmallow filling or THESE [link] (and here's a tip if ya like em wriggling bite of the head first and they still got a few weeks left of wriggling)
Reply
:iconcaseydecker:
CaseyDecker Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I'll admit, it is pretty hard to believe that Hostess has just gone out of business... Ironic as it may sound, I can't remember the last time I've actually eaten one of Hostess's snack cakes, since I've pretty much snacked on Little Debbie snack cakes as long as I could remember.
Reply
:icondvlishsknkboy:
dvlishsknkboy Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Take a look at ebay at some point lol 21,000,000.00 USD for a box of ten...
Reply
:iconghostlyalucard2490:
GhostlyAlucard2490 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
I've never liked Twinkies. They always made me sick if I ate them, but it's still sad to see them go. :(
Reply
:iconqueator:
Queator Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Traditional Artist
Just as a man should never outlive his son, Mankind should never outlive his twinkies.

But seriously, we'll be 6 months without before the recipes are sold and Hostess products return under a different flag.
Reply
:iconwikidreamer:
WikiDreamer Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Hostess' going down? Meh. For whatever reason, EVERY Hostess snack has a damned "cream filling" requirement. Blech! XP
Now, if Little Debbie were to go down....THE END IS NEIGH! No more Cosmic Brownies? Coffee Crumbles Squares? APPLE FLIPS!?!? *Vader No*
Reply
:iconspace0ctopus:
Space0ctopus Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Not true, the donettes  they made were heavenly. Otherwise, yeah..icky cream filling is icky. I still don't understand everyone's infatuation with it. It's repulsive. Oh and they used to make delicious coffee cake things. 
Cosmic brownies rule & I've never seen coffee crumbles squares, which makes me feel very deprived, since I adore anything cinnamon & cake-like. It sucks living in this almost rural area, our Safeways rarely stock really good stuff, and if they do, it ends up going away and never coming back. I've lost 5 of my favorite delicious things in the past 2 years alone, one being Cinnabon pancakes that you microwave....and let me tell you, they were heaven. I'm not even usually a fan of pancakes....but those things were fucking incredible.   :(
Here's to hoping Lil' Debbies survives through our lifetimes & far beyond that!!!:iconeheheplz:
Reply
:iconwikidreamer:
WikiDreamer Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013
Sad thing is, Twinkies used to be filled with, get this, banana creme pudding! So if you ever go to a gourmet restaurant and Twinkies are on the desert menu, you'd be in for a REAL treat.
Reply
:iconspace0ctopus:
Space0ctopus Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Now that's something I was completely unaware of and would actually enjoy. Thanks!!!
Reply
:iconbracabrad:
Bracabrad Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
There is another company(little Debbie) that sells a Twinkies like item. They taste about the same so there will still be a reference for those jokes.
IF you've ever been super broke Twinkies are a nice switch up desert when eating the "ramen" noodle packs that are like 12-17cents a pack, super cheap off brand mac & cheese, or spam.
BTW J.J. can you draw a full Irish? I want to see your take on that breakfast plate or platter rather.
Reply
:iconbracabrad:
Bracabrad Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Also. "How to distract Americans during important voting and political periods"
Step one. Close down an icon business
Step two. Blame a Union/CEO.
Step three. Make popcorn and watch the blood spill.
Reply
:iconwikidreamer:
WikiDreamer Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
*has popcorn...still waitin' on that blood shed*
Reply
:iconhammerj18:
hammerj18 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
There will still b a twinkie joke for zombieland, as long as ppl feel the pain Tallahassee felt lol. I. Never cared for twinkies anyway
Reply
:iconluci2also:
luci2also Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Did someone say miss twinkies

jollyjack needs to draw us a picture of Ms. Twinkies.

Try to keep it civil.
The twinkie has to go into the mouth.
Oh. forget it there is no way to make that civil.
Reply
:iconstormelemental13:
stormelemental13 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
But they can serve as post-apocalypse emergency rations.
Reply
:iconleviadragon99:
leviadragon99 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Huh... well I tried one myself during this trip to the US I'm currently on and... yeah, they are not a foodstuff.
Reply
:iconsexual-yeti:
Sexual-Yeti Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Measure PK levels with Snowballs?
Reply
:iconckentavr:
CKentavr Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Licensees of the Twinkie brand continue to be profitable. It's still a valuable asset, hence the selling off.

Of course, the looting by the owners and execs has not gone unnoticed by their creditors:
[link]
Reply
:iconcursedseishi:
CursedSeishi Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Man... I won't even MISS twinkies...! Never touched the things, so at least in terms of edible confectionery treats...? Don't care, because all of it is invested in their cupcakes!


But as a part of the overall sphere of movie references? Tis a sad day indeed...
Reply
:icondarkecofreak23:
darkecofreak23 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Writer
My sentiments exactly. I wanted to see Ghostbusters again as soon as I finished buying up all the Twinkies I could find at my local Kroger.

"Tell him about the Twinkie."

"What about the Twinkie?"
Reply
:iconangryfrenchkanadian:
AngryFrenchKanadian Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think there's a lot of companies that are willing to pick back the production of Twinkies even if the original company goes under, that's even if does go under. They're in negotiation with some unions, and they're using any tactic they know to avoid any kind of discussion to be made by scaring their employees with bankruptcy.
Reply
:iconmgbgt:
MGBGT Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Glad I tried one when I had the chance.
Reply
:iconwinterwolfe6:
WinterWolfe6 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Artist
well if it is that's a shame. I love twinkies, man.
God bless 'em.
Reply
:iconkthies15:
kthies15 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
honestly, i find i like the generic twinkies more than the actualy twinkie. they're not as firm as the real twinkies, and the taste a bit better. so i guess i'm not too sad the Twinkies could cease to be
Reply
:iconwarflame1:
warflame1 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I have to admit, this made me laugh more than I should have.
Reply
:iconexplositionrooster5:
ExplositionRooster5 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I believe you meant this Ghostbusters:

[link]

Also, I would love to eat that Twinkie.
Reply
:iconolafanderson:
olafanderson Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Wait a second, I haven't seen Navigator in a LONG time now, how did the Twinkie fit into that one again?
Reply
:iconnagflar:
Nagflar Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Classic movies and you mention Zombieland? Sure, sure...
Reply
:icon6-qubed:
6-Qubed Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I've heard talk that the company (or at least the snack cake brands) will be farmed off to one or more other food manufacturers.

Supply and demand is a powerful force, and there is only one thing that would fill the twinkie-shaped hole in the dessert/snack market.

Rioting.

(you think conservatives got mad when Obama was elected...)
Reply
:iconmackenziex:
MacKenzieX Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
As an American who grew up with getting a Twinkie in her lunch box as a special treat, I'm shocked, horrified and deeply depressed that I'm no longer going to have my golden spongy cream filled goodness. How am I going to teach my cousins' kids and various nieces and nephews how to properly eat a Twinkie if there are no Twinkies to eat properly? They're killing a long standing family tradition, dude!
Reply
:iconrobotlouisstevenson:
Robotlouisstevenson Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, there's another thing we can blame the Union for. Whiny money grubbing crybabies, they should be lucky they even had jobs in this economy, and they had the testicular fortitude to demand more from bosses that were already having trouble paying them to begin with? What a bunch of ungrateful turds. So they go on strike, and when the company can't keep up with sales because of the strike, they shut the company down, and EVERYONE loses.

It really would help if the employers could fire those whiny strikers, but no, the Union protects them from that. Can't people see the Union has to go? Especially when there are tons of little shits abuse it's policies like this? Ending several companies in the process, and racking up even more to that unemployment rating all because some whiny shit didn't get a couple more dollars? The Union has outlived it's purpose, get rid of it I say!
Reply
:icondayelyte:
Dayelyte Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Let me ask you a question. Did you read anything about this story at all before assuming the Union was the root cause of the companies failure ?

Considering the information available on it, I would guess probably not. Allow me to enlighten you.

This is the second time in a decade Hostess has done the bankruptcy thing. The workforce agreed to wage and benefit cuts the first time around as they were told the money saved would be used to rebuild the company. I believe the company has had six CEO's in the past ten years.

While the company was busy trying to cut benefits and wages from the workforce, upper level management elected to increase their own pay. I believe the latest CEO received a 300% ( THREE HUNDRED PERCENT ) raise and several other top execs also received massive pay raises. This while the company was prepping to file for bankruptcy.

Trust me, if most worked for a company that wanted to axe their compensation all while upper level management was doubling ( or more ) their own pay, most would likely either:

1) Quit
2) Vote to strike as well

As far as I'm concerned, let the company fail. Few will miss the product they provided. However, make sure to put the blame in the right spots for this one :D I don't think the workers were in the wrong here.
Reply
:iconlarchus:
Larchus Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
^ This guy pretty much hit it on the head.

But sure, blame unions. How dare workers call companies on their bullshit?
Reply
:iconrobotlouisstevenson:
Robotlouisstevenson Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
and besides, the twinkie is too good to let die, I'm sure someone will put together a knockoff that tastes just the same.
Reply
:iconrennistora:
RennisTora Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"tell him about the Twinkie"
I had some when I was younger, they were alright but I've never like sweet/sugary things in general.
Still, it will be a shame that future generations won't even get those references...
Well okay they still show them in the films and we still get references and jokes about stuff from
our parents or grandparents younger days like malt shops and such so hopefully these won't
loose all meaning anytime soon?
Reply
:iconjusticex:
Justicex Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Naaw. Us Canadians are harding dem! We shall rule da world! :D

Seriously though, I was linked to an article that says the shutdowns in the States won't affect Hostess factories in Canada so we'll still have em ;)
Reply
:iconkalad1:
kalad1 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
to be fair, the twinkie brand and recipe, hell likely the same production equipment, will just be snatched up by a competitor and it will be the same thing, different producer
Reply
:iconpoesraven1990:
PoesRaven1990 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My whole issue with this thing is that while we are trying to bring in new jobs we just shut down a factory with a thousand or so more workers.
Reply
:iconphycosmiley:
Phycosmiley Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   Traditional Artist
I've never liked Twinkies.
Reply
:iconsanderford:
Sanderford Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
The union is not without blame. In this economy? Be thankful you're working at all. That may sound ruthless, but now they have no jobs, and many are unlikely to get new ones any time soon. Good work.

Even if they had a legitimate grievance, and I'm not 100% sure they did, they would have been wise to wait a while before making a fuss.
Reply
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