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I'm changing my name.That's right. I'm changing my DA name.
I've thought long and hard and have decided to change it toooooo.......
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.................."jollyjack".
That's right; i'm one of the few artists here on DA that seems content with my name. That; and I think changing a "brand" simply because you can, after you've spent time and energy building up an audience is f**king stupid.
I've been here for years. I've operated on the internet under "jollyjack" for longer. If I changed that now it would be monumentally confusing to people that follow my work, which, in turn, would have an effect on revenue.
There are a ton of artists here whose work I keenly follow, and I think they're kinda shooting themselves in the foot by doing this.
Kinda reminds be of those little label-making things everyone's been given on at least one Christmas as a kid: you unwrap it, you find out what it does and you spend the rest of the day punching out new tags for everything. Even if they'
Evil Dead RemakeIf an original film has a splendid core concept, but a budget too low or a director too inept to do it justice, I don't mind a remake. I'll applaud it.
The most toxic remake thus far has been "Total Recall", which was terrible simply because it used the original as a crutch at more than a few points and, despite having a massive budget and 20 years of technological advancement on the original: felt less exciting and epic.
Closer to the book, sure, but just not as much fun.
And now they've turned their gaze upon "Evil Dead".
Now, I'm not going to try and defend the original Evil Dead, because it's not actually that great a film. This is proven with "Evil Dead 2", in which the entirety of the preceding movie's plot and purpose is successfully reduced to an opening act. Something that wouldn't have been possible were the movie, y'know; good.
"Evil Dead 2" is awesome. It's called a "cult classic" for a reason, and, in my eyes, should have rendered the whole franchise "sacred", meaning you
PuritanArt"Your deviation Sonic Screw(driver) was reported for Explicit Pornography. The report was reviewed by a member of the Staff and action was taken, deleting the deviation and marking the report as Resolved.
Additionally, the following comment was provided:
A member of staff has reviewed this deviation and has determined that the theme itself, or one or more details present in the scene, has made the work unacceptable for submission here.
As such this deviation has been removed in accordance with our policies and should not be resubmitted."
"Explicit Pornography"?! Aw, jeez, guys. You must have the worst collection of porn on the planet to think that was explicit.
A 90s Rochelle Swanson outing was more explicit that that pic, and that stuff got aired, uncut, on terrestrial UK TV (god bless you Channel 5, you made the young Jack jolly).
I believe that, for something to be labelled "explicit", SOMETHING must be visibly going in SOMEWHERE. Such was not the case in the offending image,
Galactic Empire under new managementWow. This I didn't see coming: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20146942
$4 Billion? (£2.5 Billion, in real money)
Not as much as Pixar.....but then, if Lucasfilm were a house, JarJar would be the devaluing, sh*t-stained carpet a new owner would have to deal with.
And, no, I'm not going to denounce it. Disney buying Lucasfilm? That has potential, and I'm not talking Star Wars, here.
If I've read the press release on the Disney corporate website correctly, they now own EVERYTHING – including Lucasarts, which is a division of Lucasfilm.
Monkey Island/Day of the Tentacle/Sam & Max + Disney? That could be amazing!
As for the (inevitable) Star Wars 7, I'm really hoping they use the Thrawn Trilogy. In fact, I'm betting they do. Let's face it; Disney haven't ever had an original idea, that's why they keep buying up other people's work, and if they're hoping to have something released by 2015 they'll have no choice but to dive into existing material.
Of course, if they produce a Satur
So THAT'S why we don't let them have guns?Following reports of a man walking around a Lancashire town with a sword, one Mr Colin Farmer was tasered into submission.
There WAS a drunk guy wandering around with a sword, but it wasn't Mr Colin Farmer.
Mr Colin Farmer was 61, blind and had been carrying a white stick.
*slow clap*
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-19979184
How much warning did they give this poor guy?! I usually stick up for the Police, because I know they have a tough job dealing with the unruly British public while bound down by seemingly infinite bureaucracy, but come on!
"A Lancashire Police spokesman said the incident was being investigated and the officer's Taser had been withdrawn"
Screw that! Take away his helmet. Make him wear one of those cheap plastic ones you give kids to dress-up in. Bloody amateur.
The whole thing makes me think of Ned and Jimbo from South Park shouting "BIRD!" and then opening fire without a second's hesitation.
EjaculationThat got your attention :D
Now who dares click the link?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z99xbwrFWoc
Ahhh, language.
Orcs of MaineEveryone's used to politicians badmouthing each other and highlighting flaws in their opponents to try and belittle them in front of the eyes of the public.
In my little corner of the world, things like fraud and corruption regularly bubble to the surface, usually by way of the media. The police investigate and the offending politician is, more often than not, destroyed. Possibly literally, as they're not usually heard from again, but more likely because the parties distance themselves from the offending moron, who was stupid enough to misbehave while the public gaze was upon them.
The parties use incidents like that to discredit their rivals and question their abilities to govern.
Occasionally an irrelevant element of a politician's personal life will crop up as the focus of a jibe, but it's never seen as anything more than that. Using, say, a harmless hobby to try and smear someone in Parliament would be seen as monumentally petty.
"Petty" is not a word American politicians seem to h
Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho.You know what I've always felt Christmas eve lacks?
Paranoia and a sense of impending doom.
The "party game" I just picked up should do the trick.
Each player gets a Nerf gun, the name of a target and the location in the house where they have to shoot them at some point over the course of the evening.
Nothing says "Christmas" like an assassination contract.
.....yes. I have been playing Hitman too long.
Snow Day.Yaaaaay! Snow day! Snow day! I don't have to go to w.....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW, DAMNIT!
*works from home*
The man of small steps.Some people you just think of as being immortal.
RIP - Neil Armstrong
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19381098
Elect the Delusional?The good Mr Romney has been saying that "The world wants to see new American leadership".
Well....if by "world" he means "Pakistan".....
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20008687
....and I think that's probably down to Obama giving the greenlight to the operation that saw US Special Forces conduct a cross-border raid into Pakistan which resulted in a very dead Bin Laden. They're still kinda cranky about that.
Posted for no reason other than that it's really, really funny.
Bad Games.Is FarCry 3 a game where you get a penalty if you nick someone's stuff?
No.
Why, then, aren't item's collected on contact?
Why do I have to press a button each time I want to pick something up?
Why do I have to press AND HOLD a button each time I want to pick something up?
Why, in a game, where collecting items is a key part of gameplay, is it so damn hard to get the crosshair to register contact with said item, despite being right on top of it?
I get asked occasionally (well, I think "challenged" is more the word) by some people (snide idiots) if there are any games I do enjoy. Yes, there are many. Too many to list, in fact, so I shall simply summarise:
I enjoy games in which you lose yourself. Games that absorb you into the world on screen. This does not mean the game is some deeply written RPG epic, it just means that you forget you're playing it and feel more like you're living it, be it a simple 2D platformer or fast and furious 3D beat-em-up.
If you have to wrestle with a
Turn Based Combat.I picked up XCom: Enemy Unknown yesterday, and it suddenly struck me that this is the first turn-based strategy (computer/video) game I've played in years.
They seemed to go out of style about a decade ago, which is a real shame, especially on the RPG front.
Two of my all time favourite games are Shining Force 2 and Skies of Arcadia, both of which featured turn-based combat and felt epic as a result.
But with action games taking a fore of late, everything just felt like it had started to become a rush. You never have time to savour anything anymore. The character designs, the music, the monsters, the setting. With a turn based combat you can take your time and enjoy it all, and, most importantly, when you fail you KNOW it was your fault, not a shoddy camera angle or sluggish controls.
I think that's why the last squad-based RPG I played was Final Fantasy XII, which introduced Real Time Battles. Don't get me wrong, it worked really well, but I just felt it wasn't as
Grow some balls.I don't mind people voicing that they don't like my work or the content of my silly little cartoons. Most of the time I find it funny! But what really grates is when the individual doesn't have the spine to do so via their day-to-day DA profile.
They set up a new one. One which they use to rattle off whatever flatulance they believe passes as worthwhile commentary in the real world, most likely in the wake of mummy and daddy slapping them on the wrist over something  - angsty, juvenile pricks that they are.
And juvenile they must be, as anyone with a mite more experience would realise that any weight you hope your words might have is completely lost when someone visits your "slander" profile and reads the numbers "0 Deviations", "0 Favourites", "0 Watchers", "No Journal entries", etc.
It renders your words as vacuous as your gallery.
So if you're going to type stuff like "I feel like some of the smut you draw takes away from the credibility of your art as a whole." or
Learning to read, with Jolly Jack.Well, that was fun.
Let's just go over what I posted yesterday: I voiced that I have no opinion on guns in America, because I don't live there and as such; don't care. I said that I, personally, am afraid of guns and think they're industrial killing machines. And I posed a vague, hypothetical question that could have been applied to any situation where an old law/doctrine is in effect.
That's it. Nothing more. Harshest word in there was "change" followed by a question mark. Not "ban", not "make guns illegal" and certainly not "outlaw free speech and trial by jury", which some people with a slightly looser grasp on reality seem to think go hand in hand with owning the firearms I said I don't care about.
Well, today, I am going to post an opinion: if you're the kind of insecure, paranoid little twit that flies off the handle when someone poses a simple question, and who holds weapons and the laws that permit them with such religious reverence that you perceive that question as not
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November 16, 2012
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The End of the Twinkie?

:iconjollyjack:

[link]

World War 3 may just be months away, with much of the middle east currently being blown apart by missiles and the locals setting their neighbours on fire, but the real news is that the Twinkie, the USA's primary contribution to world cuisine, could cease to be.

"You eat those?" I hear people ask. Hell no. Never eaten one in my life. There's something about their unnatural, chemical-yellow colour and that they have a half-life rather than a use-by date that just sets off one too many alarm-bells.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you read the print on the pack, you'll find asbestos to be a key ingredient.
Even John McClane can't keep one down, and he took out a building full of terrorists with nothing but his bare feet and a Santa hat.

Which leads to my point: Without the Twinkie, there are SO many lines from SO many classic movies that future generations just aren't going to get.
Die Hard, Flight of the Navigator, Zombieland, The Iron Giant, Wall-E, and, most importantly; Ghostbusters.
What unit are we going to use to measure PKE if there are no Twinkies?!
Cats and dogs, man!
MASS HYSTERIA!!
305 Comments
  • Listening to: Booming Orchestral Scores
  • Reading: Assorted comics.
  • Watching: TV
  • Playing: Dishonoured
  • Eating: Pasta
  • Drinking: Water.
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:iconsannyf:
~SannyF Dec 8, 2012
remeber the twinkie scene in ghostbusters, i never ever understod what they were on about, mainly for we dont have it here.
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:iconevill-bob:
~Evill-Bob Dec 4, 2012
The funny part is it's been the better part of a decade since I ate a Twinkie... suddenly I wanted one of those freakish little things... then I found out they were no more...
Reply
:iconstylemaster:
~StyleMaster Nov 30, 2012
What about the Simpsons episode where Apu says: "Silly Costumer! You cannot hurt the Twinkie!", ?

But I guess health regulations are the only thing that can stop them.
Reply
:icondestroyah5000:
*Destroyah5000 Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
One time I bought a package of Hostess cupcakes (assuming they were the usual chocolate ones that are okay). They looked liked the chocolate kind to me. Took a bite; it was that dreaded yellow dough, now in my stomach for the first time for the last time. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!
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:iconlonewulfinottawa2009:
~lonewulfinottawa2009 Nov 28, 2012
Twinkies are good
Reply
:icondarkdragondave:
~DarkDragonDave Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Super late on this but:

[link]

I've eaten one of those. It was dreadful. (Even dipped it in milk too.)
Reply
:iconweird-coma:
~weird-coma Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I call bullshit on the whole Hostess debacle. There's too many redneck assholes who fill-compact themselves with ding-dongs for them to just go out of business. There's already rumblings from them that they might not call it quits after all. Too bad, I was hoping to see some hill-jack's nugget exploded when he had to eat something that didn't have a shelf-life measured in decades.
Reply
:iconweird-coma:
~weird-coma Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Lil' Debbie?
Reply
:iconlarchus:
~Larchus Nov 22, 2012
The Nutrition Facts of a Twinkie is just a transcript of a doctor laughing.
Reply
:iconsteelios:
~Steelios Nov 22, 2012
well let me tell you something their are 2 things that can survive this nuclear Apocalypse and guess what TWINKIES IS ONE OF THEM!so it's either a spongy yellow cake with marshmallow filling or THESE [link] (and here's a tip if ya like em wriggling bite of the head first and they still got a few weeks left of wriggling)
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