Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:iconjollyjack: More from jollyjack

Featured in Collections

Journals by luismigueln64

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
April 1


35 (who?)
I am absolutely delighted with it. It’s everything I hoped it would be: Terrible.

Had it looked GOOD, there would have been this nagging feeling that I’d be missing out on something if I stuck to my vow of never again watching another Michael Bay movie. I have fond childhood memories of the Turtles, so I may have weakened. But because it looks like, well, a Michael Bay movie, that feeling simply isn’t there. I have no desire, at all, to pay for or sit through that film.
Transformers 3 was the last chance I was willing to give. I thought “There’s no way it could actually be WORSE than Transformers 2. I’ll give it a shot”.
Somehow…. it was.
That was it. That was the breaking point. No more Bay. EVERYTHING he goes near is pure effluent, and all the evidence you need of how toxic a film Turtles is going to be is in that trailer.

Obviously, we don’t know what the plot is at this point, but it’s a Michael Bay film, and if plot is generally treated as irrelevant by the producer, we can feel less guilty about passing judgement on the film based purely on the visuals.

First, Megan Fox is not April O’Neil. She’s just Megan Fox, and Megan Fox’s contribution to theatrical entertainment begins and ends with perching on a motorbike wearing very little. That’s it. That’s her sole role in any film. That or a variation of it.

Then there are the Turtle designs, which have attracted a lot of flak, with people comparing them to all manner of things. The general view seems to be that Michelangelo looks like Mike Tyson crossed with some form of root vegetable.
I didn’t think that at all. The first thing that popped into my head when I saw them was: they’ve tuned the Turtles into f**king Goombas.

Personally, I think they looked better in pre-production…..y’know, before they added the CGI. If they have a special feature on the DVD where the CGI is absent, I might actually buy that.

And finally there’s the city-wide destruction and utterly indecipherable action sequences we’ve had in every Bay film since Transformers, all directed by the guy who brought us the Grecian chamber-pot, Wrath of the Titans: a sequel that nobody wanted to a film that everybody hated.

If you want to go and watch this Turtles film, if you want to give Bay your money and piss away 2+ precious hours of your life that could be spent on something more constructive, despite all of the evidence you’ve seen, that you’ve probably witnessed yourself, that Bay’s films are among the worst the world has ever seen: there’s nothing I can say that’ll stop you.
Go buy your ticket.
Smart people are going to either buy or rewatch TMNT (2007):…
Add a Comment:
Kegger98 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Actually, Michaeal bay is just producing.
jollyjack Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Which is enough of a reason for me to not watch it.
Kegger98 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Alright, I get it.
MDTartist83 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014
Yeah well, it's another production of Michael Bay. So I guess... What did you expect?
SilverZeo Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist
I shouldn't judge a movie before it came out...
Yes, it's a Bay film.
Yes, it's going to have a rather unfaithful take of the origin
Yes, Mikey's face reveal is almost EXACTLy like that did in Amazing Spider-Man, which pretty much was already done by Terry in Batman Beyond, only here it looks just like something for the trailer only...
.... but I've been wrong before... and most of the time due to jumping the gun...
da-derga Featured By Owner May 21, 2014   General Artist
I'm willing to give Transformers 3 a chance when it eventually makes its way to Freeview, where the only money spent by me will be the TV licence. But this may be my new Batman & Robin, which I have successfully avoided to this day, even though it's on ITV2 at least three times per month.
JohnSegway Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Urgh, Bay... Give me Ed Wood any day over that cretin.
Afrodisium Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
So, would you say Bay is becoming the new Boll?
jollyjack Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
Bay has always been Boll.....just with an inexplicable budget.
MythicalComics Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Student General Artist
At most, I'll go see this as long as I'm not the one paying for it. That, or I'll simply pirate it to satisfy my curiosity regarding the flick. Otherwise, I don't see myself giving it a second thought.

My biggest issues given what was presented with the trailer? The turtles are now the intentional results of science in labs rather than accidents (that was a crucial thing originally), and Megan Fox is not wearing a yellow jumpsuit. This is, however, also a blessing. If she had worn April O'Neil's signature ensemble, it would've been a disservice to the original 90's material.
Add a Comment: